Hurry up and wait.....

This is the mantra of our lives..... "Hurry up and wait..... And wait and wait" until they decide you should know what might or will be happening in your lives and that could be a 4 month notice or a 2 week notice you just better be ready or prepared for whatever they throw at you. " Hurry up and wait" But don't plan anything and heaven do not live your life because you might be moving across the country in 3 months or your husband might go sit in Japan for 6-9 months.

It's kind of depressing if you ask me.... I mean don't get me wrong I love my husband, my children and my country, I would've married Matt and had my children and been a good productive citizen even if Matt wasn't in the Marines and I do not want or ask for anything in return for the day to day life we live for this country and solely for this country because trust me we get nothing free and what perks we did have are slowly slipping away. But I find it sad that we from day to day really don't know or have control over what will happen in our day to day lives.

With that being said we are still waiting, waiting to see if he will be a drill instructor, a recruiter, a something and leave for school sometime soon and then we will be moving to California, or South Carolina or somewhere out of YUMA..... Or if he will be leaving in a few months for a deployment that will change our lives for ever and meaning walking away from everything we've ever known as a married couple and small family.

There is a lot of stress involved and I've cried many tears of what "may" happen. It's hard because we don't know, we know all the what ifs and what could happens, but nothing certain. We've been told two different things.... We will know by next week or we will know by the end of August. I'm actually more nervous knowing we are gonna know than I am with not knowing. The ideal situation will be for Matt to become a Drill Instructor with that comes nerves about maybe living in California and knowing we will be away from family for another 3 years. But it also brings about exciting feelings too because it will be a whole new experience and could be a good thing. South Carolina means we will be closer to family (which really is the only perk for all of us).... But with Matthew starting school and Matt being so busy with this job and me physically going to classes that perk may not mean anything because we probably wouldn't make home as much.

If he goes on the deployment he could possibly be done with the Marine Corps and well becoming a civilian scares me. I don't live in that world and never have as an adult.

So, with waiting comes nerves and lots of them, it creates tension where there shouldn't be any and many more things I can't even begin to describe. I will be so glad when we find something out and of course I will write as soon as we do find something out. For now, we are trying to avoid and live our lives while packing a little here and a little there preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. The kids are the kids always changing and never listening and driving me slap insane. I'll be glad to find something out so I can find something to do with these littles, they need children interaction besides I think they've had enough of me! :)

I will be starting a blog for my weight loss journey also and everyone needs to keep me accountable! I'll post that when it's up and running! Also, I made an A in math so I will be moving on to the next math class in 10 days wish me luck! :)